The Big Necessity

Title: The Big Necessity - The Unmentionable World of Human Waste - And Why It Matters

Author: Rose George

Pages: 304

Genre: Non-Fiction

Grade: B+

Synopsis: Rose George explores human excrement and everything relating to it. She explores how human waste is discarded in the United States, Japan, India, China, South Africa, Tanzania, and other places. Incredibly, 2.6 billion people do not have access to sanitation and those who do usually take it for granted. The book explores everything from high-end bidets in Japan, flush toilets in the United States and various types of latrines in much of the rest of the world. It's something that we all do, but it's a topic that is taboo in much of the world.

My Review: This was a fascinating book. It gets a little long in the middle, but on the whole is quite an enjoyable read. I always thought that I knew quite a bit about the world, but I found this book to be eye-opening, disgusting, and interesting throughout. Once again, I am left to ponder why I have been so blessed to live in one of the most sanitary societies in all of history, thus extending life expectancies by 20 years or so.

From the Book: "(p. 2) This is why the Liberian waiter laughed at me. He thought that I thought a toilet was my right, when he knew it was a privilege.
"It must be, when 2.6 billion people don't have sanitation. I don't mean that they have no toilet in their house and must use a public one with queues and fees. Or that they have an outhouse, or a ricety shack that empties into a filthy drain or pigsty. All that counts as sanitation, though not a safe variety. The people who have those are the fortunate ones. Four in ten people have no access to any latrine, toilet, bucket, or box. Nothing. Instead, they defecate by train tracks and in forests. They do it in plastic bags and fling them through the air in narrow slum alleyways. If they are women, they get up at 4 A.M. to be able to do their business under cover of darkness for reasons of modesty, risking rape and snakebites. Four in ten people live in situations where they are surrounded by human excrement because it is in the bushes outside the village or in their city yards, left by children outside the backdoor. It is tramped back in on their feet, carried on fingers onto clothes, food and drinking water.
"The disease toll of this is stunning. A gram of feces can contain 10 million viruses, 1 million bacteria, 1,000 parasite cysts, and 100 worm eggs..."

"(p. 8) If the cultural standing of excrement doesn't convince them, I say that the material itself is as rich as oil and probably more useful. It contains nitrogen and phosphates that can make plants grow and also suck the life from water because its nutrients absorb available oxygen. It can be both food and poison. It can contaminate and cultivate. Millions of people cook with gas made by fermenting it. I tell them that I don't like to call it "waste," when it can be turned into bricks, when it can make roads or jewelry, and when in a dried powdered form known as poudrette it was sniffed like snuff by the grandest ladies of the eighteenth-century French court. Medical men of not too long ago thought stool examination a vital diagnostic tool (London's Wellcome Library holds a 150-year0old engraving of a doctor examining a bedpan and a sarcastic maid asking him if he'd like a fork). They were also fond of prescribing it: excrement could be eaten, drunk, or liberally applied to the skin. Martin Luther was convinced: he reportedly ate a spoonful of his own excrement daily and wrote that he couldn't understand the generosity of a God who freely gave such important and useful remedies."

"(p. 89) It drips on her head most days, says Champaben, but in the monsoon season it's worse. In rain, worms multiply. Every day, nonetheless, she gets up and walks to her owners' house, and there she picks up their excrement with her bare hands or a piece of tin, scrapes it into a basket, puts the basket on her head or shoulders, and carries it to the nearest waste dump. She has no mask, no gloves, and no protection. She is paid a pittance if she gets paid at all. She regularly gets dysentary, giardia, brain fever. She does this because a 3,000-year-old social hierarchy says she has to."

"(p. 109) Mr. Wang had found my interest in fen, the Mandarin word for excrement, peculiar. Nonetheless, he tried to be helpful. He would point out when he spotted a truck full of fen looming behind, though its odor preceded it by far. He would alert me when he saw a tiny figure in a roadside field bearing a tank and hose, spraying--by the smell of it--the contents of his toilets on his cabbages. This practice would horrify any public health professional, given the disease-load of feces, but it's what happens to 90 percent of China's excrement, and has been done forever. There are reasons not to eat salads in China, and why the sizzling woks are so sizzling."

"(p. 226) Asking how astronauts go to the bathroom is one of the most common questions put during NASA or space museum outreach sessions. To cope with the curiosity, for a while the agency posted a video that featured a fully-clothed volunteer showing exactly how it was done: with a mirror, sometimes. Young is often asked about it. "Interest from the public is strange. Women don't care. They think, they worked it out and that's that. Men have an almost unhealthy interest. Children are interested in th poop factor." What everybody should actually be interested in is the drinking pee factor."

The Five Thousand Year Leap

Title: The Five Thousand Year Leap

Author: W. Cleon Skousen

Pages: 356

Genre: Non-fiction, Law

Grade: B+

Synopsis: Oringinaly published more than 30 years ago, this book lays out 28 principles that the Constitution was built upon. Included in the book was the text of the Constitution, The Declaration of Independence, Thomas Paine's pamphlet, Common Sense, and 100 questions to ask your elected politicians to gauge their stance on the Constitution. Skousen takes a literal interpretation of the Constitution and argues that if the founders did not expressly give the federal government a duty, then it is one that should be left up to state and/or local governments. A sampling of the 28 principles (ok, I couldn't decide which ones to leave out, so I left them all in):

1. The only reliable basis for sound government and just human relations is natural Law.
2. A free people cannot survive under a republican constitution unless they remain virtuous and morally strong.
3. The most promising method of securing a virtuous and morally stable people is to elect virtuous leaders.
4. Without religion the government of a free people cannot be maintained.
5. All things were created by God, therefore upon Him all mankind are equally dependent and to him and to Him they are equally responsible.
6. All men are created equal.
7. The proper role of government is to protect equal rights, not provide equal things.
8. Men are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights.
9. To protect man's rights, God has revealed certain principles of divine law.
10. The God-given right to govern is vested in the sovereign autority of the whole people.
11. The majority of the people may alter or abolish a government which has become tyrannical.
12. The United States of America shall be a Republic.
13. A constitution should be structured to permanently protect the people from the human frailties of their rulers.
14. Life and liberty are secure only so long as the right to property is secure.
15. The highest level of prosperity occurs when there is a free-market economy and a minimum of government regulations.
16. The government should be separated into three branches: Legislative, Executive, and Judicial.
17. A system of checks and balances should be adopted to prevent the abuse of power.
18. The unalienable rights of the people are most likely to be preserved if the principles of government are set forth in a written constitution.
19. Only limited and carefully defined powers should be delegated to government, all others being retained in the people.
20. Efficiency and dispatch require government to operate according to the will of the majority, but constitutional provisions must be made to protect the rights of the minority.
21. Strong local self-government is the keystone to preserving human freedom.
22. A free people should be governed by law and not by the whims of men.
23. A free society cannot survive as a republic without a broad program of general education.
24. A free people will not survive unless they stay strong.
25. "Peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations -- entangling alliances with none."
26. The core unit which determines the strength of any society is the family; therefore, the government should foster and protect its integrity.
27. The burden of debt is as destructive to freedom as subjugation by conquest.
28. The United States has a manifest destiny to be an example and a blessing to the entire human race.

My Review: If this book had a title more fitting of the material in the book, then it would be more popular than it is. Nothing in the title indicates that it is a book about the Constitution. The book is a fascinating look at the writings and vision that the founder's had as they framed the Constitution. I've never considered myself a Constitutionalist, but that was because I didn't understand them. Now, my support for every politician and bill will be determined by how it fits in with the Constitution. I don't consider myself a strict Constitutionalist, but I would love to see our country move back to the way the founder's intended things. My biggest complaint with the book is that everything is framed as being one-sided, when even the founders interpreted the Constitution slightly different from each other (i.e. Jefferson, vs. Adams). This book makes me proud to be an American, but is also a little depressing when you realize how far we've fallen.

From the Book: "(P. 61) Here is my creed: I believe in one God, the Creator of the universe. That he governs it by his providence. That he ought to be worshipped. That the most acceptable service we render to him is in doing good to his other children. That the soul of man is immortal, and will be treated with justice in another life respecting its conduct in this. These I take to be the fundamental points in all sound religion." (Benjamin Franklin - 4th Principle)

"(p. 66) I sought for the greatness and genius of America in her commodious harbors and her ample rivers, and it was not there; in her fiertile fields and boundless prairies, and it was not there; in her rich mines and her vast world commerce, and it was not there. Not until I went to the churches of America and heard her pulpits aflame with righteousness did I understand the secret of her genius and power. America is great because she is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." (Alexis de Tocqueville - 4th Principle)

"(p. 91) 5. Strictly enforce the scale of "fixed responsibility." The first and foremost level of responsibility if with the individual himself; the second level is the family; then the church; next the community finally the county, and, in a disaster or emergency, the state. Under no circumstances is the federal government to become involved in public welfare. The Founders felt it would corrupt the government and also the poor. No Constitutional authority exists for the federal government to participate in charity or welfare."(Principle 7)

Brisingr

Title: Brisingr

Author: Christopher Paolini

Pages: 763

Genre: Fantasy

Grade: A-

Synopsis: Eragon and Saphira are still with the Varden, but Eragon has left with his cousin Roran to try and find and save his fiance Katrina from the Raz'ac. Eragon meets Murtagh on the battlefield once again and then makes the trip to Farthen Dur to witness the coronation of the new dwarf king before making a quick trip to Ellesmera to visit with the elves.

My Review: I really liked this book, but I felt that there really wasn't a climax. This is probably due to the fact that originally there was only supposed to be three books in the series, but it has been extended to four (and I hope that it won't be forever before the next book is released).

The Golden Compass

Title: The Golden Compass

Author: Philip Pullman

Pages: 9 discs

Genre: Children's Fiction

Grade: B+

Synopsis: Lyra Belacqua is an orphan girl that has grown up at Oxford University. Her world is slightly different than ours in that all humans have a personal daemon, which is the manifestation of their souls in an animal form. When people are young their daemons can easily change from one type of animal to another. After puberty, the daemons assume one animal form that they keep for the rest of their lives. Children throughout Britain begin disappearing, including Lyra's friend Roger. Lyra goes on a quest to find her friend Roger and hopefully save the other children as well.

My Review: I had heard that this was a pretty controversial book, but after reading it, I don't see why. The book does portray "The Church" as the bad guy, but it is in an indirect way. The book is definitely a children's book, but I enjoyed it and am looking forward to reading the remaining books of the trilogy.

Not a Good Day to Die

Title: Not a Good Day to Die

Author: Sean Naylor

Pages: 425

Genre: Current Affairs

Grade: A-

Synopsis: This book tells the story of Operation Anaconda which took place in the Shahikot Valley in Afghanistan in early 2002. The operation was a couple of months after the infamous Tora Bora incident (where intelligence indicates that Osama bin Laden was there, but the US military was unable to capture him). The Shahikot Valley is a small valley where hundreds of Taliban fighters were hiding. The US military, NATO forces and Afghan fighters prepared a plan to attack the valley from multiple sides. Communications issues and chain-of command issues plagued the mission from the earliest stages and virtually guaranteed that there would be problems.

Why I Read this Book: This book is on the reading list of one of the Generals at Hill Air Force Base. It was recommended to my dad who then recommended it to me.

My Review: This was one of the most fascinating books that I have read in a long time. The first 80 pages or so are a little tough to get through as the author sets up the chain-of-command and goes through dozens and dozens of military abbreviations. Once the fighting is close, then the book is hard to put down. Many of the incidents in the book will disgust you as commanders that know very little about the terrain and plans of attack but decide to take control of decisions anyways. Between Donald Rumsfeld, General Tommy Franks and other OPCOM guys micromanaging the war from 3,000+ miles away, they greatly hindered the effectiveness of the operation.

Before the fighting even starts the miscommunication problems affect the battle. For example, as the fighters are trying to insert themselves into the valley to start fighting, they expect the Air Force to start a 55 minute bomb barrage on enemy positions. Instead, the Air Force drops a small handful of bombs in just over a minute and actually attacks one of the US fighter's positions. As far as I could tell, there would have been no casualties in this operation if the men on the ground that had been planning the operation were allowed to command the operation. The book is pretty scathing towards the military and hopefully they are learning from the experience to keep our armed forces strong and safe.

Disclaimer: As you can imagine, the language in the army is pretty vulgar and there is a lot of fighting, blood and death. Regardless, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this book.

One Hundred Years of Solitude

Title: One Hundred Years of Solitude

Author: Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Pages: 448

Genre: Latin, Classic

Grade: B+

Synopsis: The story is about 100 years in the small Latin American town of Macondo, founded by Jose Arcadio Buendia. For the next 100 years, his family lives in the town as it grows and changes. For six generations, the children are named after their ancestors and are blessed and cursed with the same passions, desires, strengths and weaknesses of those who have gone before them.

My Review: I quite enjoyed the book, but found it very difficult at first to distinguish between the main characters as all the boys are either named Arcadio or Aurelianos and all the women are named Remedios, Amaranta or Ursula. While the book covers a century, every chapter is a different story that is expertly woven into the fabric of the book as a whole, such as the visits of the gypsies, a town plagued with insomnia and one of the girls ascending to heaven while she hangs her laundry.

Disclaimer: As is often the case with the classics, this book does not shy away from sex or violence, although descriptions are never graphic (Although, apparently, the men of the Buendia family are distinguished by large members...).

From the Book: "A trickle of blood came out under the door, crossed the living room, went out into the street, continued on in a straight line across the uneven terraces, went down steps and climbed over curbs, passed along the Street of the Turks, turned a corner to the right and another to the left, made a right angle at the Buendía house, went in under the closed door, crossed through the parlor, hugging the walls so as not to stain the rugs, went on to the other living room, made a wide curve to avoid the dining-room table, went along the porch with the begonias, and passed without being seen under Amaranta's chair as she gave an arithmetic lesson to Aureliano José, and went through the pantry and came out in the kitchen, where Úrsula was getting ready to crack thirty-six eggs to make bread.

"Holy Mother of God!" Úrsula shouted."

Leaves of Grass

Title: Leaves of Grass

Author: Walt Whitman

Pages: 14 discs

Genre: Poetry

Grade: B+

Synopsis: Leaves of Grass is a collection of poems by Walt Whitman. Whitman is known as one of the great American poets and his poems are often a reflection of his thoughts on American politics, nature or industry.

My Review: The difficulty in reviewing this type of book is that I really enjoyed some of the poems and I didn't really care for many of the others. Whitman's style is unique and stream-of-consciousness, but often seems to ramble on and on. I mainly listened to this book in the car while I commuted to and from work, but I also got a full copy of the text from the library to follow along when I could. I found that my opinion of the poem was often formed depending on who read the poem and how they read the poem. Poetry is all about the reading and recitation. I loved listening to the poems and following along with them in the book.

You can read the full text of Leaves of Grass online at Google Books. A few of my favorite poems (Among many, many):

I Hear America Singing

I hear America singing, the varied carols I hear,
Those of mechanics, each one singing his as it
should be blithe and strong,
The carpenter singing his as he measures his plank
or beam,
The mason singing his as he makes ready for work,
or leaves off work,
The boatman singing what belongs to him in his
boat, the deckhand singing on the steamboat
deck,
The shoemaker singing as he sits on his bench, the
hatter singing as he stands,
The wood-cutter’s song, the ploughboy’s on his
way in the morning, or at noon intermission
or at sundown,
The delicious singing of the mother, or of the
young wife at work, or of the girl sewing or
washing,
Each singing what belongs to him or her and to
none else,
The day what belongs to the day — at night the
party of young fellows, robust, friendly,
Singing with open mouths their strong melodious
songs.

O Captain! My Captain

O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up - for you the flag is flung - for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths - for you the shores
a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

Miracles

1. What shall I give? and which are my miracles?

2. Realism is mine--my miracles--Take freely,
Take without end--I offer them to you wherever your feet can carry you or your eyes reach.

3. Why! who makes much of a miracle?
As to me, I know of nothing else but miracles,
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach, just in the edge of the water,
Or stand under trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love--or sleep in the bed at night with any
one I love,
Or sit at the table at dinner with my mother,
Or look at strangers opposite me riding in the car,
Or watch honey-bees busy around the hive, of a summer forenoon,
Or animals feeding in the fields,
Or birds--or the wonderfulness of insects in the air,
Or the wonderfulness of the sundown--or of stars shining so quiet and bright,
Or the exquisite, delicate, thin curve of the new moon in spring;
Or whether I go among those I like best, and that like me best--mechanics, boatmen, farmers,
Or among the savans--or to the _soiree_--or to the opera.
Or stand a long while looking at the movements of machinery,
Or behold children at their sports,
Or the admirable sight of the perfect old man, or the perfect old woman,
Or the sick in hospitals, or the dead carried to burial,
Or my own eyes and figure in the glass;
These, with the rest, one and all, are to me miracles,
The whole referring--yet each distinct and in its place.

4. To me, every hour of the light and dark is a miracle,
Every inch of space is a miracle,
Every square yard of the surface of the earth is spread with the same,
Every cubic foot of the interior swarms with the same;
Every spear of grass--the frames, limbs, organs, of men and women, and all that concerns them,
All these to me are unspeakably perfect miracles.
To me the sea is a continual miracle;
The fishes that swim--the rocks--the motion of the waves--the ships, with men in them,
What stranger miracles are there?

The Fan

Title: The Fan

Author: Peter Abrahams

Pages: 320

Genre: Sports, Fiction

Grade: B

Synopsis: Gil is a rabid fan of the Sox and the new player that they have acquired in Bobby Rayburn. Gil believes that Rayburn will be the solution to all of the Sox's problems. Gil has some major problems of his own. He sales knives for a company that his father started years ago, but is fired due to poor performance. The only thing that Gil can think about are the days when he played baseball himself - in the little leagues. The great Bobby Rayburn is in a slump and Gil thinks he is the only one that can help get him out of it.

My Review: I felt that this was a fitting book to be reading during the final days of the World Series. I enjoyed how baseball and real life are intertwined with each one controlling the other at different times. The story is very engaging and a little disturbing as Gil obsesses more and more over Bobby Rayburn.

The Brethren

Title: The Brethren

Author: John Grisham

Pages: 440

Genre: Legal Thriller

Grade: B

Synopsis: Three judges in federal prison have concocted a scam to snare and extort money from closet homosexuals who answer to an ad in a gay lifestyle magazine. They end up snaring a presidential candidate that is being secretly fronted by the CIA, which causes the CIA to get involved in the scam in order to protect their candidate.

My Review: I felt that the premise behind this story was the weakest of any John Grisham book that I have read. The story was still interesting and enjoyable, but it was missing the excitement and intrigue that is typically present in a Grisham thriller.

From the Book: "(p. 88) What would his friends think? The Honorable Hatlee Beech, federal judge, writing prose like a faggot, extorting money out of innocent people."

The Host

Title: The Host

Author: Stephenie Meyer

Pages: 20 discs

Genre: Science Fiction

Grade: B-

Synopsis: The earth has been taken over by alien lifeforms, called souls, in the shape of small silver worms. The worms have been inserted into the back of the humans necks where they take over the brains and bodies of the humans. To an outsider, everything appears to be life as usual on earth, but to the few remaining humans hiding and running for their life this is not the case. This story is about one soul/human conbination in particular Wanderer and Melanie and their life sharing Melanie's brain and body.

My Review: My personal title for this book is The Book that Never Ends. I could see how it was going to end halfway through the book and then had to get through the particulars before it finally ended. When I first started the book I was surprised by how strange the story was, but I began to enjoy it before too long. The book is a little annoying, very strange (but then again, so is Twilight - especially book 4), and far too long. There were parts that I really liked, but far too much of the book just drags on.

The Lost Symbol

Title: The Lost Symbol

Author: Dan Brown

Pages: 511

Genre: Thriller

Grade: B+

Synopsis: Robert Langdon has been summoned to Washington to fill in as a guest lecturer for his close friend, who is the Secretary of the Smithsonian. While there, he is drawn into a plot to uncover a secret that the Mason's have been protecting and guarding for centuries.

My Review: I quite enjoyed this book, just as I have enjoyed all of Dan Brown's other novels. I am really looking forward to reading the illustrated edition when it comes out. If there is one thing that I have learned from Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code, it is that the illustrated editions really make the story come alive. Instead of reading Brown's descriptions of paintings, buildings and symbols, you can see them for yourself. The book was a little more wordy/descriptive than the previous novels that Langdon stars in and many people have complained about this, but I found the extra descriptions quite interesting. Dan Brown's novels never fail to make me think.

From the Book: "(p. 65) Despite Langdon’s six-foot frame and athletic build, Anderson saw none of the cold, hardened edge he expected from a man famous for surviving an explosion at the Vatican and a manhunt in Paris. This guy eluded the French police…in loafers? He looked more like someone Anderson would expect to find hearthside in some Ivy League library reading Dostoyevsky.”

“(p. 228) The coyly nicknamed explosive Key4 had been developed by Special Forces specifically for opening locked doors with minimal collateral damage. Consisting primarily of cyclotrimethylenetrinitramine with a diethylhexyl plasticizer, it was essentially a piece of C-4 rolled into paper-thin sheets for insertion into doorjambs. In the case of the library’s reading room, the explosive had worked perfectly.”

Anthem

Title: Anthem

Author: Ayn Rand

Pages: 111

Genre: Philosophy, Classic, Fiction

Grade: B

Synopsis: First published in 1938, Anthem is a dystopian novella that takes place at an unspecified time in the future. Virtually all technological advances have been discarded in favor of a society where nobody knows more than anybody else. Personal pronouns and individualism have been discarded for a culture where everybody refers to themselves as "we" and all people live in communal dwellings segregated by sex. Equality 7-2521 doesn't think like the rest of the people and ends up discovering some of the things that have been forgotten.

My Review: I read this book in high school, but remembered very little of it. I found the story interesting and thought provoking and a good introduction to the writings and philosophy of Ayn Rand.

This I Believe

Title: This I Believe

Author: Varies

Pages: 5 cds

Genre: Inspirational, Essays

Grade: A+

Synopsis: This I Believe is a collection of essays by people from throughout the United States. Rich, poor, white, black, southerners, northerners, straight, gay, famous, not famous, female, male, essayists from all walks of life participated in describing their personal credos. These essays were all read by the authors themselves (with the lone exception of Albert Einstein, whose audio has been lost). Mixed in with the present-day essays were essays by people from the early 1950's. The authors included well-known people such as Colin Powell, Newt Gingrich, Bill Gates, Helen Keller, Albert Einstein, John McCain, Dr. Ben Carson, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jackie Robinson and Wallace Stegner. The essayists espoused their personal beliefs on everything from barbecue to family to forgiveness to America.

My Review: As you can tell by the rating I gave the book, I really, really liked it. I found myself laughing, crying and laughing again all within the space of 10 minutes. I couldn't get over the fact that these essays were written by regular folk like me and you and the crazy lady walking along the sidewalk and the compassionate lady driving by in her car. As I listened to these essays, I was proud to be an American, proud to live in a country where we are able to live freely with people of all beliefs and lifestyles.

From the Book: I have uploaded two of my favorite essays below. Have a listen!

The Madonnas of Leningrad

Title: The Madonnas of Leningrad

Author: Debra Dean

Pages: 256

Genre: Fiction

Grade: B

Synopsis: The story moves back and forth between the present day and World War II in Saint Petersburg, Russia. Marina worked in the Hermitage museum as the paintings were packed away and hidden in undisclosed locations. Every night as German bombers would bomb the city, Marina and the other workers were stationed on the roof as the museum as fire watchers. The present-day portion of the book takes place near Seattle. Marina is now an old woman suffering from Alzheimer's and while attending her granddaughter's wedding she just can't remember who anybody is.

My Review: I thought that I would like this book more than I did. While the book moves seamlessly between war torn Russia and present-day America, I found the story difficult to follow and simply not that interesting. During a lot of the book, Marina is trying to remember the rooms of the Hermitage as they were before the paintings were removed and I enjoyed the descriptions of the paintings, sculptures and rooms (The Hermitage was a former Imperial Palace before being converted into an Art Museum. My parents and I toured the museum after my mission - very beautiful).

Night

Title: Night

Author: Elie Wiesel

Pages: 120

Genre: Memoir

Grade: A

Synopsis: Elie Wiesel was a Jew born in Transylvania. In 1944 he and his family were gathered up by the Nazis and forced into the Auschwitz concentration camp. He was separated from his mother and sister and never saw them again. Luckily, he was able to remain with his father for the bulk of his stay in the camps. After a time at Aushwitz, he was transferred to Buchenwald as the Russians were close to liberating the camp. During the journey from one camp to the other, they were packed tightly 100 men to an open-roofed cattle train car - and only 12 finished the trip alive. Elie Wiesel won the Nobel Peace Prize for this book and his efforts in not letting the world forget the Holocaust.

My Review: I knew that this iconic book about the Holocaust would be a difficult read. We've all heard the stories, but realizing that they are true and that people really suffered as described is so sad and disturbing. I also find it repulsing just how many people were willing to treat other humans so wretchedly. As the review by the New York Times states on the back of the book: "A slim volume of terrifying power."

From the Book: "Listen to me, kid. Don't forget that you are in a concentration camp. In this place, it is every many for himself, and you cannot think of others. Not even you father. In this place, there is no such thing as father, brother, friend. Each of us lives and dies alone. Let me give you good advice: stop giving your ration of bread and soup to your old father. You cannot help him anymore. And you are hurting yourself. In fact, you should be getting his rations..."

The Annotated Alice - The Definitive Edition

Title: The Annotated Alice - The Definitive Edition

Author: Lewis Carroll, Notes by Martin Gardner, Illustrations by John Tenniel

Pages: 312

Genre: Children's Fiction, Fantasy

Grade: A-

Synopsis: The Annotated Alice consists of the books Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, both by Lewis Carroll. The full text of each book is included (as well as parts that were taken out) and there are annotative notes through the text of each chapter.

Alice in Wonderland: Alice dreams that she falls down a rabbit hole chasing a white rabbit and meets a bunch of interesting fantastical creatures. She plays croquet with the queen of hearts, has a baby turn into a pig in her arms and is continually changing sizes.

Through the Looking Glass: 6 months to the day after her dream about wonderland, she has another dream about climbing through the mirror into the house/parlor on the other side. She finds herself a pawn in a chess game and works her way across the board so that she can become a queen. Everyone she meets seems to recite poetry to her (where the annotations really help) including Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the White Knight and Humpty Dumpty.

My Review: I've been wanting to read Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass for quite a while. I very much enjoyed reading them with the annotations because there is so much more to the stories than you would ever know or realize without them. Charles Dodgson (aka Lewis Carroll), was a shy, eccentric bachelor that taught mathematics at Oxford. Lewis Carroll (aka Charles Dodgson) was a man obsessed with little girls, especially one Alice Liddell. While his obsession with young girls is a little creepy, it was amazing to read the cleverness of his stories.

From the Book: "(p. 22) Alice took the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking. "Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!" And she began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them.

"I'm sure I'm not Ada," she said, "for her hair goes in such long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I ca'n't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, of, she knows such a very little!"

"(p. 148) Jabberwocky
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogroves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Around the World in Eighty Days

Title: Around the World in Eighty Days

Author: Jules Verne

Pages: 6 discs

Genre: Fiction

Grade: A-

Synopsis: Phileas Fogg is a man that does everything with exactness. He makes a bet of 20,000 pounds with his friends that he can travel around the world in eighty days. In just over an hour he departs London for Dover with his newly hired French servant Passepartout. In Suez, a detective thinks that he recognizes Mr. Fogg as a notorious bank robber and begins to follow him and try to hinder him on his journey while he waits for a warrant to arrive from London. Amazingly, Phileas Fogg and his servant continue on their journey by train, steamship, sailboat, sledge and elephant (but not by hot air balloon - which is even shown on the cover of many copies of the book).

My Review: I used to love reading Jules Verne when I was younger. I'm pretty sure that I've read this book before, but it was quite a bit different than I remembered. I loved hearing about the different places that Fogg and companions passed through, I even pulled out my trusty world atlas to follow them on their journey as I listened. One of the highlights is when the travelers are on the transcontinental railroad in the United States. Passing through Utah, Passepartout is given a lesson on Mormons. He listens to a Mormon missionary speak in one of the railroad cars and hears a discourse on the Mormon religion. For what it's worth, I think that Verne did a very nice job of describing the LDS beliefs as they were known during the time period.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Title: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Author(s): Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Pages: 278

Genre: Fiction

Grade: B

Synopsis: Guernsey is a British Island that came under German occupation during World War II. The residents there formed the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society on a whim when they were caught past curfew. After the war the residents of Guernsey begin corresponding with Dawsey Adams, an author looking for a topic for her next book. Ms Adams falls in love with the island (and islanders) as she unravels their stories.

My Review: The whole book consists of a series of letters between the characters. I didn't really like the format of the book and I had a hard time remembering who was who. The story was interesting, but I never felt drawn into it. There wasn't really a climax to the story - instead everything just seemed to continue on and on. All that said, I believe that most people that read this book will like it quite a bit more than I did.

Nights in Rodanthe

Title: Nights in Rodanthe

Author: Nicholas Sparks

Pages: 212

Genre: Romance

Grade: B

Synopsis: Adrienne Willis is a recently divorced mother of three who heads out to Rodanthe to watch her friends Bed and Breakfast before it closes down for the season. There is only one scheduled guest, Paul Flanner, who is a recently divorced workaholic looking to make some changes in his life. Adrienne was expecting time to relax and enjoy herself, but conveniently there is a hurricane force storm coming in from the ocean which requires them to board up the windows and doors and spend the weekend inside all alone together.

My Review: This was a fairly typical Nicholas Sparks love story. I had heard that it was a good book club book so I recommended it to Alison for her book club - and she didn't like it. Sorry Al. I think that I liked it better than she did, but there was still something about it that made it almost awkward (maybe because it's a love story featuring people like our parents...).

The Reptile Room

Title: A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Reptile Room - Book the Second

Author: Lemony Snicket

Pages: 3 discs

Genre: Children's Fiction

Grade: B+

Synopsis: Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire have been sent to live with a far-removed uncle, Dr. Montgomery Montgomery, who is a world-renowned herpetologist. The kids immediately grow fond of "Monty" as they prepare for an expedition to Peru to trap snakes. Monty's original assistant disappears and he is forced to hire a new one, Stefano. The orphans immediately realize that Stefano is actually Count Olaf in a crude disguise (who they lived with and were tormented by in the first book). He is still out to get their fortune.

My Review: I liked this book quite a bit more than the first. In fact, there were a few times that I was listening to the book that I laughed out loud. As a sidenote, I highly recommend listening to the book. The reader, Tim Curry, is fantastic and really makes the story come alive. As usual, the book is a bit depressing but, very clever all the same.

Hardy Boys #14 - Too Many Traitors

Title: Hardy Boys #14 - Too Many Traitors

Author: Franklin W. Dixon

Pages: 151

Genre: Mystery

Grade: D-

Synopsis: The Hardy Boys are at it again - they've got to solve a mystery in order to save their own necks.

My Review: I read literally dozens and dozens of these books growing up - and I've got to say that I'm not impressed... I found an old stack of these at my parent's house and I thought I'd give them all one last read before sending them off to the DI, but I'm not sure that I can stomach reading many more. While I loved them when I was younger, they seem to be a poor choice now.

A Time to Kill

Title: A Time to Kill

Author: John Grisham

Pages: 14 discs

Genre: Fiction, Thriller

Grade: A-

Synopsis: In Clanton, Mississippi a 10-year old black girl is brutally raped and beaten by two white redneck racists - Pete Willard and Billy Ray Cobb. The girls father, Carl Lee Hailey, takes justice into his own hands and blows the two boy's brains out as they are leaving a courtroom. He is immediately arrested and put on trial for capital murder. The trial divides the town and county and brings the KKK back into Ford County (where it had been dormant for many years). Carl Lee Hailey hires a local lawyer to defend him against the charges.

My Review: Right off the bat this book is a little disturbing. The plot gets your attention and sickens you at the same time. What really makes it interesting though, is that in every sense of the word, Carl Lee Hailey is guilty and should be sentenced to the gas chanber (regardless of his kin color). Because he is a black father that killed two white men, many of the white's in the county can't believe that he even gets a trial. I'm not sure whether I would have acquitted him or not. It's a plot and story that allows for deep introspection and that I really enjoyed listening to.

John Adams

Title: John Adams

Author: David McCullough

Pages: 751

Genre: Biography

Grade: A

Synopsis: This book chronicles the life of John Adams, the second President of the United States of America. John Adams played a critical role in declaring independence from Great Britain, in the writing of the Declaration of Independence and in ending the Revolutionary War (among many, many other incredible accomplishments). John Adams spent many years abroad in Europe negotiating peace and commerce treaties and upon returning home was elected to the vice-presidency under George Washington. Without ever soliciting a vote, he was elected President before losing his bid for a second term to Thomas Jefferson, who was his friend off-and-on throughout most of his life.

My Review: David McCullough never ceases to amaze me. To write the books he writes with the information available is incredible. The lives of the people he writes about just seem to come alive - almost as if he is there documenting their lives at the same time they are living them. What makes this book especially exciting and intriguing is because John Adams in integral to the birth of our great country and it is fun to read about the early days of the republic. The book is long, but McCullough never dwells too long on any topics. It is no accident that his two Pulitzer prize-winning biographies (Truman and John Adams) are written about men who wrote thousands and thousands of letters as well as kept meticulous diaries.

From the Book: "(p. 39) Even mighty states and kingdoms are not exempted. If we look into history, we shall find some nations rising from contemptible beginnings and spreading their influence, until the whole globe is subjected to their ways. When they have reached the summit of grandeur, some minute and unsuspected cause commonly affects their ruin, and the empire of the world is transferred to some other place. Immortal Rome was at first but an insignificant village, inhabited only by a few abandoned ruffians, but by degrees it rose to a stupendous height, and excelled in arts and arms all the nations that preceded it. But the demolition of Carthage (what one should think should have established is in supreme dominion) by removing all danger, suffered it to sink into debauchery, and made it at length an easy prey to Barbarians.

England immediately upon this began to increase (the particular and minute cause of which I am not historian enough to trace) in power and magnificence, and is now the greatest nation upon the globe.

Soon after the reformation a few people came over into the new world for conscience sake. Perhaps this (apparently) trivial incident may transfer the great seat of empire into America. It looks likely to me. For if we can remove the turbulent Gallics, our people according to exactest computations, will in another century, become more numerous than England itself. Should this be the case, since we have (I may say) all the naval stores of the nation in our hands, it will be easy to obtain the mastery of the seas, and then the united force of all Europe will not be able to subdue us. The only way to keep us from setting up for ourselves is to disunite us. Divide et impera. Keep us in distinct colonies, and then, some great men from each colony, desiring the monarchy of the whole, they will destroy each others' influence and keep the country in equilibrio.

Be not surprised that I am turned into politician. The whole town is immersed in politics."

"(p. 102) "It has been the will of Heaven," the essay began, "that we should be thrown into existence at a period when the greatest philosophers and lawgivers of antiquity would have wished to live...

a period when a coincidence of circumstances without example has afforded to thirteen colonies at once an opportunity of beginning government anew from the foundation and building as they choose. How few of the human race have ever had the opportunity of choosing a system of government for themselves and their children? How few have ever had anything more of choice in government than in climate?""

"(p. 103) She was particularly curious about the Viginians, wondering if, as slaveholders, they had the necessary commitment to the cause of freedom. "I have," she wrote, "sometimes been ready to think that the passions for liberty cannot be equally strong in the breasts of those who have been accustomed to deprive their fellow creature of theirs." What she felt about those in Massachusetts who owned slaves, including her own father, she did not say, but she need not have--John knew her mind on the subject. Writing to him during the First Congress, she had been unmistakably clear: "I wish most sincerely there was not a slave in the province. It always seemed a most iniquitous scheme to me--[to] fight ourselves for what we are daily robbing and plundering from those who have as good a right to freedom as we have.""

"(p. 119) According to Adams, Jefferson proposed that he, Adams, do the writing [pf the Declaration of Independence], but that he declined, telling Jefferson he must do it.

"Why?" Jefferson asked, as Adams would recount.

"Reasons enough," Adams said.

"What can be your reasons?"

"Reason first: you are a Virginian and a Virginian ought to appear at the head of this business. Reason second: I am obnoxious, suspected and unpopular. You are very much otherwise. Reason third: You can write ten times better than I can.""

"(p. 120) That there would be a political advantage in having the declaration written by a Virginian was clear, for the same reason there had been political advantage in having the Virginian Washington in command of the army. But be that as it may, Jefferson, with his "peculiar felicity of expression," as Adams said, was the best choice for the task, just as Washington had been the best choice to command the Continental Army, and again Adams had played a key part. Had his contributions as a member of Congress been only that of casting the two Virginians in their respective, fateful roles, his service to the American cause would have been very great."

"(p. 129) So, it was done, the break was made, in words at least: on July 2, 1776, in Philadelphia, the American colonies declared independence. If not all thirteen clocks had struck as one, twelve had, and with the other silent, the effect was the same.

It was John Adams, more than anyone, who had made it happen. Further, he seems to have understood more clearly than any what a momentous day it was and in the privacy of two long letters to Abigail, he poured out his feelings as did no one else:

"The second day of July 1776 will be the most memorable epocha in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the Day of Deliverance by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other from this time forward forever more.""

"(p. 130) That the hand of God was involved in the birth of the new nation he had no doubt. "It is the will of heaven that the two countries should be sundered forever." If the people now were to have "unbounded power," and as the people were quite capable of corruption as "the great," and thus high risks were involved, he would submit all his hopes and fears to an overruling providence, "in which unfashionable as the faith may be, I firmly believe.""

(p. 225) As time would prove, he had written one of the great, enduring documents of the American Revolution. The constitution of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts is the oldest functioning written constitution in the world."

"(p. 467) There was a burst of applause when George Washington entered and walked to the dais. More applause followed on the appearance of Thomas Jefferson, who had been inaugurated Vice President upstairs in the Senate earlier that morning, and "like marks of approbation" greeted John Adams, who on his entrance in the wake of the two tall Virginians seemed shorter and more bulky even than usual."

"(p. 556) What was surprising--and would largely be forgotten as time went on--was how well Adams had done. Despite the malicious attacks on him, the furor over the Alien and Sedition Acts, unpopular taxes, betrayals by his own cabinet, the disarray of the Federalists, and the final treachery of Hamilton, he had, in fact, come very close to winning in the electoral count. With a difference of only 250 votes in New York City, Adams would have won an electoral count of 71 to 61. So another of the ironies of 1800 was that Jefferson, the apostle of agrarian America who loathed cities, owed his ultimate political triumph to New York."

"(p. 632) I do not believe that Mr. Jefferson ever hated me. On the contrary, I believe he always like me: but he detested Hamilton and by whole administration. Then he wished to be President of the United States, and I stood in his way. So he did everything that he could to pull me down. But if I should quarral with him for that, I might quarrel with every man I have had anything to do with in life. This is human nature....I forgive all my enemies and hope they may find mercy in Heaven. Mr. Jefferson and I have grown old and retired from public life. So we are upon our ancient terms of goodwill."

"(p. 646) Adams lay peacefully, his mind clear, by all signs. Then late in the afternoon, according to several who were present in the room, he stirred and whispered clearly enough to be understood, "Thomas Jefferson survives."

The Hound of the Baskervilles

Title: The Hound of the Baskervilles

Author: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Pages: 5 discs

Genre: Mystery

Grade: A-

Synopsis: Sherlock Holmes is requested to investigate the legend of the hound of the Baskervilles. Many local folk believe that a large black hound roams the moor searching for victims. Holmes' quest is to determine whether or not the legend is true or if what appears to be supernatural can be explained by reason.

My Review: I was pleasantly surprised by how well I like this book. Honestly, most books from this time period (and earlier) don't hold my interest like this one did. The story was engaging and easy to understand and follow. Without Sherlock's help I'm afraid that neither Watson nor I would have been able to figure the mystery out.

Fablehaven - Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary

Title: Fablehaven - Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary

Author: Brandon Mull

Pages: 528

Genre: Fantasy

Grade: A

Synopsis: Two of the hidden artifacts have been found and the Society of the Evening Star is hot on the track of another. Right off the bat, Kendra is kidnapped and locked away and the Knights of the Dawn are on a frantic search to locate her. The Knights of the Dawn decide that they must attempt to get to the key of another artifact before the Society of the Evening Star does. The only problem with this plan is that they must enter a dragon sanctuary named Wyrmroost that as far as anybody knows no human has entered since Patton.

My Review: Much like the Harry Potter series, with each succeeding book these books seem to be getting better and better. Once I was into this book it was one that I couldn't put down and although I had to be to work early the next morning, I stayed up late to finish because I couldn't go to bed without finishing it. The worst part about reading this book right now is that I've got to wait so long for the next (and probably last) one to come out (which people are assuming will be in February or March 2010).

The Bad Beginning

Title: A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning - Book the First

Author: Lemony Snicket

Pages: 3 discs

Genre: Children's Fiction

Grade: B

Synopsis: The Baudelaire children, Violet, Klaus and Sunny, are orphaned after their parents die in a house fire (that also destroys all of their belongings). They first must go to live with Mr. Poe and his family as he sorts out their situation as the executor of their will. He then sends the children to live with their long lost relative Count Olaf, who the children have never met. The children uncover a plot of Count Olaf's to obtain the Baudelaire fortune - which has been set aside in a trust until Violet turns 18. The children must figure out a way to stop him.

My Review: Oddly enough, I read and reviewed this book not too long ago and didn't really like it. I think that I liked the book a little more this time, but only after I realized that there would be very few good things that happened in the book - which makes it a bit depressing. Regardless, it is a clever little story and was an enjoyable listen.

The Historian

Title: The Historian

Author: Elizabeth Kostova

Pages: 656

Genre: Fiction, Thriller

Grade: A

Synopsis: A teenage girl finds an old book hidden in her father's library that is entirely blank save for a woodcut of a dragon on the center pages. The dragon is holding a placard with the word 'DRAKULYA'. She also finds a stack of letters addressed to "My Dear and Unfortunate Successor" and begins trying to find out what hidden secrets her father has from his past. When her father was a student at Oxford, his graduate school mentor mysteriously disappears from his office only minutes after confiding to him that he believes that Dracula is still alive.

My Review: It just so happens that for the last three and a half years I have been claiming this book as my favorite. I don't think that I enjoyed it quite as much as I did the first couple times I read it, but it is still in my top 10. I love the descriptions the author provides of the mosques, museums and cities throughout Europe that the characters visit. From browsing other reviews online, it appears that opinions of this book are quite varied, but like I said, it's one of my favorites. I found it fitting that the 100th book I reviewed on this blog, also happened to be the first.

The World According to Mister Rogers

Title: The World According to Mister Rogers - Important Things to Remember

Author: Fred Rogers

Pages: 197

Genre: Quotes, Memoir

Grade: A

Synopsis: This book is made up of short quotes and anecdotes taken from the life of Mister Rogers and his television show. The quotes are grouped into four topics: The courage to be yourself, Understanding love, The challenges of inner discipline and We are all neighbors.

My Review: Not much to say about this one, other than the sayings all give a nice outlook on life and my respect for Mister Rogers has increased since reading it.

From the Book: "(p. 21) Whatever we choose to imagine can be as private as we want it to be. Nobody knows what you're thinking or feeling unless you share it."

"(p. 32) You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are."

"(p. 42) The thing I remember best about successful people I've met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they're doing and it seems to have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they're doing, and they love it in front of others."

"(p. 53) Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now."

"(p. 113) I hope you're proud of yourself for the times you've said "yes," when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful only to someone else."

"(p. 162) Whether we're a preschooler or a young teen, a graduating college senior or a retired person, we human beings all want to know that we're acceptable, that our being alive somehow makes a difference in the lives of others."

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Title: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Author: J. K. Rowling

Pages: 10 discs

Genre: Fantasy

Grade: A-

Synopsis: Harry Potter is about to enter his third year at Hogwarts, if he isn't expelled for using magic on his aunt, that is. As it turns out, everybody is ready to forgive Harry because an escaped prisoner from Azkaban is out there looking for him. Couple that with Harry seeing the grim (the worst death omen) at every turn and he's setting himself for another exciting year.

My Review: Of course I liked this book, but my one complaint was that it took forever to end. It's impressive how everything is always tied together between this book, the earlier books and even the later books. I give major props to Jim Dale, the reader of the audiobooks, because he does an amazing job. It took listening to a couple of books before I really started liking him, but he certainly does a great job.

Flash Fiction Forward: 80 Very Short Stories

Title: Flash Fiction Forward: 80 Very Short Stories

Authors: Varies

Pages: 240

Genre: Fiction

Grade: B

Synopsis: This book is a collection of flash fiction stores, which are typically the shortest of the short stories. While the definition of flash fiction isn't set in stone, typically the stories are less than 750 words and/or 3 pages in length.

My Review: The variety in this collection is incredible. I enjoyed spending a few minutes reading a story about one topic only to have the next story about something totally different and unrelated, and usually on a topic that I've never read anything about. I found some of the stories to be very good while I didn't like some of the others at all. A few of my favorites were:

• Sashimi Cashmere by Carolyn Forde
• Mandela Was Late by Peter Mehlman
• The Jalapeno Contest by Ray Gonzalez
• Things You Should Know by A. M. Homes
• The Voices in My Head by Jack Handey
• My Date with Neanderthal Woman by David Galef
• The Handbag by Michael Augustin
  

Disclaimer: As the book was written by many different authors, there are a few that are more loose with their language than others.

From the Book: "(p. 72, Tiffany, by Stacey Richter) "Look at her," said a pert little dinoflagellate with a perfectly smooth protein coat. "Look at her with her nose up in the air, refusing to divide.""

"(p. 89, The Old Truth in Costa Rica, by Lon Otto - forgive the language...) It was approaching night, the conversation having taken up the better part of a day. Out of the fragile light a fourth perezoso spoke, the olders and wisest of them, who had to descend to the forest floor on business no more than once every two or three weeks, but then required many hours to accomplish what was necessary. He said, "The truth is this. Dropped casually from the safety of our beloved branches, our shit would be merely shit. Hard and shapely as our patient nature makes it, it is still shit. But when we plant it in the ground where the jaguar walks, it becomes precious as jewels.""

"(p. 48, The Jalapeno Contest, by Ray Gonzalez - Typically I only share a paragraph or two (and I only share one paragraph here), but the whole story is contained in a single paragraph.) Freddy and his brother Tesoro have not seen each other in five years, and they sit at the kitchen table in Freddy's house and have a jalapeno contest. A large bowl of big green and orange jalapeno peppers sit between the two brothers. A saltshaker and two small glasses of beer accompany this feast. When Tesoro nods his head, the two men begin to eat the raw jalapenos. The contest is to see which man can eat more peppers. It is a ritual from their father, but the two brothers tried it only once, years ago. Both quit after two peppers and laughed it off. This time, things are different. They are older and have to prove a point. Freddy eats his first one more slowly than Tesoro, who takes two bites to finish his and is now on his second. Neither says anything, though a close study of each man's face would tell you the sudden burst of jalapeno energy does not waste time in changing the eater's perception of reality. Freddy works on his second as Tesoro rips into his fourth. Freddy is already sweating from his head and is surprised to see that Tesoro's fat face has not changed its steady, consuming look. Tesoro's long, black hair is neatly combed, and not one bead of sweat has popped out. He is the first to sip from the beer before hitting his fifth jalapeno. Freddy leans back as the table begins to sway in his damp vision. He coughs, and a sharp pain rips through his chest. Tesoro attempts to laugh at his brother, but Freddy sees it is something else. As Freddy finishes his third jalapeno, Tesoro begins to breathe faster upon swallowing his sixth. The contest momentarily stops as both brothers shift in their seats and the sweat pours down their faces. Freddy clutches his stomach as he reaches for his fourth delight. Tesoro has now taken his seventh, and it is clear to Freddy that his brother is suffering big-time. There is a bright blue bird sitting on Tesoro's head, and Tesoro is struggling to laugh because Freddy has a huge red spider crawling on top of his head. Freddy wipes the sweat from his eyes and finishes his fourth pepper. Tesoro sips more beer, sprinkles salt on the tip of his jalapeno, and bites it down to the stem. Freddy, who has not touched his beer, stares in amazement as two Tesoros sit in front of him. They both rise hastily, their beer guts pushing the table against Freddy, who leans back as the two Tesoros waver in the kitchen light. Freddy hears a tremendous fart erupt from his brother, who sits down again. Freddy holds his fifth jalapeno and can't breathe. Tesoro's face is purple, but the blue bird has been replaced by a burning flame of light that weaves over Tesoro's shiny head. Freddy is convinced that he is having a heart attack as he watches his brother fight for breath. Freddy bites into his fifth as Tesoro flips his eighth jalapeno into his mouth, stem and all. This is it. Freddy goes into convulsions and drops to the floor as he tries to reach for his glass of beer. He shakes on the dirty floor as the huge animal that is Tesoro pitches forward and throws up millions of jalapeno seeds all over the table. The last thing Freddy sees before he passes out is his brother's body levitating above the table as an angel, dressed in green jalapeno robes, floats into the room, extends a hand to Tesoro, and floats away with him. When Freddy wakes up minutes later, he gets up and makes it to the bathroom before his body lets go through his pants. As he reaches the bathroom door, he turns and gazes upon the jalapeno plants growing healthy and large on the kitchen table, thick peppers hanging under their leaves, their branches immersed in the largest pile of jalapeno seeds Freddy has ever seen."