What I'm Reading Now:

Friday, September 25, 2009

The Annotated Alice - The Definitive Edition

Title: The Annotated Alice - The Definitive Edition

Author: Lewis Carroll, Notes by Martin Gardner, Illustrations by John Tenniel

Pages: 312

Genre: Children's Fiction, Fantasy

Grade: A-

Synopsis: The Annotated Alice consists of the books Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, both by Lewis Carroll. The full text of each book is included (as well as parts that were taken out) and there are annotative notes through the text of each chapter.

Alice in Wonderland: Alice dreams that she falls down a rabbit hole chasing a white rabbit and meets a bunch of interesting fantastical creatures. She plays croquet with the queen of hearts, has a baby turn into a pig in her arms and is continually changing sizes.

Through the Looking Glass: 6 months to the day after her dream about wonderland, she has another dream about climbing through the mirror into the house/parlor on the other side. She finds herself a pawn in a chess game and works her way across the board so that she can become a queen. Everyone she meets seems to recite poetry to her (where the annotations really help) including Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the White Knight and Humpty Dumpty.

My Review: I've been wanting to read Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass for quite a while. I very much enjoyed reading them with the annotations because there is so much more to the stories than you would ever know or realize without them. Charles Dodgson (aka Lewis Carroll), was a shy, eccentric bachelor that taught mathematics at Oxford. Lewis Carroll (aka Charles Dodgson) was a man obsessed with little girls, especially one Alice Liddell. While his obsession with young girls is a little creepy, it was amazing to read the cleverness of his stories.

From the Book: "(p. 22) Alice took the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking. "Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!" And she began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them.

"I'm sure I'm not Ada," she said, "for her hair goes in such long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I ca'n't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, of, she knows such a very little!"

"(p. 148) Jabberwocky
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogroves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Around the World in Eighty Days

Title: Around the World in Eighty Days

Author: Jules Verne

Pages: 6 discs

Genre: Fiction

Grade: A-

Synopsis: Phileas Fogg is a man that does everything with exactness. He makes a bet of 20,000 pounds with his friends that he can travel around the world in eighty days. In just over an hour he departs London for Dover with his newly hired French servant Passepartout. In Suez, a detective thinks that he recognizes Mr. Fogg as a notorious bank robber and begins to follow him and try to hinder him on his journey while he waits for a warrant to arrive from London. Amazingly, Phileas Fogg and his servant continue on their journey by train, steamship, sailboat, sledge and elephant (but not by hot air balloon - which is even shown on the cover of many copies of the book).

My Review: I used to love reading Jules Verne when I was younger. I'm pretty sure that I've read this book before, but it was quite a bit different than I remembered. I loved hearing about the different places that Fogg and companions passed through, I even pulled out my trusty world atlas to follow them on their journey as I listened. One of the highlights is when the travelers are on the transcontinental railroad in the United States. Passing through Utah, Passepartout is given a lesson on Mormons. He listens to a Mormon missionary speak in one of the railroad cars and hears a discourse on the Mormon religion. For what it's worth, I think that Verne did a very nice job of describing the LDS beliefs as they were known during the time period.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society


Title: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Author(s): Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Pages: 278

Genre: Fiction

Grade: B

Synopsis: Guernsey is a British Island that came under German occupation during World War II. The residents there formed the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society on a whim when they were caught past curfew. After the war the residents of Guernsey begin corresponding with Dawsey Adams, an author looking for a topic for her next book. Ms Adams falls in love with the island (and islanders) as she unravels their stories.

My Review: The whole book consists of a series of letters between the characters. I didn't really like the format of the book and I had a hard time remembering who was who. The story was interesting, but I never felt drawn into it. There wasn't really a climax to the story - instead everything just seemed to continue on and on. All that said, I believe that most people that read this book will like it quite a bit more than I did.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Nights in Rodanthe

Title: Nights in Rodanthe

Author: Nicholas Sparks

Pages: 212

Genre: Romance

Grade: B

Synopsis: Adrienne Willis is a recently divorced mother of three who heads out to Rodanthe to watch her friends Bed and Breakfast before it closes down for the season. There is only one scheduled guest, Paul Flanner, who is a recently divorced workaholic looking to make some changes in his life. Adrienne was expecting time to relax and enjoy herself, but conveniently there is a hurricane force storm coming in from the ocean which requires them to board up the windows and doors and spend the weekend inside all alone together.

My Review: This was a fairly typical Nicholas Sparks love story. I had heard that it was a good book club book so I recommended it to Alison for her book club - and she didn't like it. Sorry Al. I think that I liked it better than she did, but there was still something about it that made it almost awkward (maybe because it's a love story featuring people like our parents...).

Monday, September 7, 2009

The Reptile Room

Title: A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Reptile Room - Book the Second

Author: Lemony Snicket

Pages: 3 discs

Genre: Children's Fiction

Grade: B+

Synopsis: Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire have been sent to live with a far-removed uncle, Dr. Montgomery Montgomery, who is a world-renowned herpetologist. The kids immediately grow fond of "Monty" as they prepare for an expedition to Peru to trap snakes. Monty's original assistant disappears and he is forced to hire a new one, Stefano. The orphans immediately realize that Stefano is actually Count Olaf in a crude disguise (who they lived with and were tormented by in the first book). He is still out to get their fortune.

My Review: I liked this book quite a bit more than the first. In fact, there were a few times that I was listening to the book that I laughed out loud. As a sidenote, I highly recommend listening to the book. The reader, Tim Curry, is fantastic and really makes the story come alive. As usual, the book is a bit depressing but, very clever all the same.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Hardy Boys #14 - Too Many Traitors

Title: Hardy Boys #14 - Too Many Traitors

Author: Franklin W. Dixon

Pages: 151

Genre: Mystery

Grade: D-

Synopsis: The Hardy Boys are at it again - they've got to solve a mystery in order to save their own necks.

My Review: I read literally dozens and dozens of these books growing up - and I've got to say that I'm not impressed... I found an old stack of these at my parent's house and I thought I'd give them all one last read before sending them off to the DI, but I'm not sure that I can stomach reading many more. While I loved them when I was younger, they seem to be a poor choice now.

A Time to Kill

Title: A Time to Kill

Author: John Grisham

Pages: 14 discs

Genre: Fiction, Thriller

Grade: A-

Synopsis: In Clanton, Mississippi a 10-year old black girl is brutally raped and beaten by two white redneck racists - Pete Willard and Billy Ray Cobb. The girls father, Carl Lee Hailey, takes justice into his own hands and blows the two boy's brains out as they are leaving a courtroom. He is immediately arrested and put on trial for capital murder. The trial divides the town and county and brings the KKK back into Ford County (where it had been dormant for many years). Carl Lee Hailey hires a local lawyer to defend him against the charges.

My Review: Right off the bat this book is a little disturbing. The plot gets your attention and sickens you at the same time. What really makes it interesting though, is that in every sense of the word, Carl Lee Hailey is guilty and should be sentenced to the gas chanber (regardless of his kin color). Because he is a black father that killed two white men, many of the white's in the county can't believe that he even gets a trial. I'm not sure whether I would have acquitted him or not. It's a plot and story that allows for deep introspection and that I really enjoyed listening to.

John Adams

Title: John Adams

Author: David McCullough

Pages: 751

Genre: Biography

Grade: A

Synopsis: This book chronicles the life of John Adams, the second President of the United States of America. John Adams played a critical role in declaring independence from Great Britain, in the writing of the Declaration of Independence and in ending the Revolutionary War (among many, many other incredible accomplishments). John Adams spent many years abroad in Europe negotiating peace and commerce treaties and upon returning home was elected to the vice-presidency under George Washington. Without ever soliciting a vote, he was elected President before losing his bid for a second term to Thomas Jefferson, who was his friend off-and-on throughout most of his life.

My Review: David McCullough never ceases to amaze me. To write the books he writes with the information available is incredible. The lives of the people he writes about just seem to come alive - almost as if he is there documenting their lives at the same time they are living them. What makes this book especially exciting and intriguing is because John Adams in integral to the birth of our great country and it is fun to read about the early days of the republic. The book is long, but McCullough never dwells too long on any topics. It is no accident that his two Pulitzer prize-winning biographies (Truman and John Adams) are written about men who wrote thousands and thousands of letters as well as kept meticulous diaries.

From the Book: "(p. 39) Even mighty states and kingdoms are not exempted. If we look into history, we shall find some nations rising from contemptible beginnings and spreading their influence, until the whole globe is subjected to their ways. When they have reached the summit of grandeur, some minute and unsuspected cause commonly affects their ruin, and the empire of the world is transferred to some other place. Immortal Rome was at first but an insignificant village, inhabited only by a few abandoned ruffians, but by degrees it rose to a stupendous height, and excelled in arts and arms all the nations that preceded it. But the demolition of Carthage (what one should think should have established is in supreme dominion) by removing all danger, suffered it to sink into debauchery, and made it at length an easy prey to Barbarians.

England immediately upon this began to increase (the particular and minute cause of which I am not historian enough to trace) in power and magnificence, and is now the greatest nation upon the globe.

Soon after the reformation a few people came over into the new world for conscience sake. Perhaps this (apparently) trivial incident may transfer the great seat of empire into America. It looks likely to me. For if we can remove the turbulent Gallics, our people according to exactest computations, will in another century, become more numerous than England itself. Should this be the case, since we have (I may say) all the naval stores of the nation in our hands, it will be easy to obtain the mastery of the seas, and then the united force of all Europe will not be able to subdue us. The only way to keep us from setting up for ourselves is to disunite us. Divide et impera. Keep us in distinct colonies, and then, some great men from each colony, desiring the monarchy of the whole, they will destroy each others' influence and keep the country in equilibrio.

Be not surprised that I am turned into politician. The whole town is immersed in politics."

"(p. 102) "It has been the will of Heaven," the essay began, "that we should be thrown into existence at a period when the greatest philosophers and lawgivers of antiquity would have wished to live...

a period when a coincidence of circumstances without example has afforded to thirteen colonies at once an opportunity of beginning government anew from the foundation and building as they choose. How few of the human race have ever had the opportunity of choosing a system of government for themselves and their children? How few have ever had anything more of choice in government than in climate?""

"(p. 103) She was particularly curious about the Viginians, wondering if, as slaveholders, they had the necessary commitment to the cause of freedom. "I have," she wrote, "sometimes been ready to think that the passions for liberty cannot be equally strong in the breasts of those who have been accustomed to deprive their fellow creature of theirs." What she felt about those in Massachusetts who owned slaves, including her own father, she did not say, but she need not have--John knew her mind on the subject. Writing to him during the First Congress, she had been unmistakably clear: "I wish most sincerely there was not a slave in the province. It always seemed a most iniquitous scheme to me--[to] fight ourselves for what we are daily robbing and plundering from those who have as good a right to freedom as we have.""

"(p. 119) According to Adams, Jefferson proposed that he, Adams, do the writing [pf the Declaration of Independence], but that he declined, telling Jefferson he must do it.

"Why?" Jefferson asked, as Adams would recount.

"Reasons enough," Adams said.

"What can be your reasons?"

"Reason first: you are a Virginian and a Virginian ought to appear at the head of this business. Reason second: I am obnoxious, suspected and unpopular. You are very much otherwise. Reason third: You can write ten times better than I can.""

"(p. 120) That there would be a political advantage in having the declaration written by a Virginian was clear, for the same reason there had been political advantage in having the Virginian Washington in command of the army. But be that as it may, Jefferson, with his "peculiar felicity of expression," as Adams said, was the best choice for the task, just as Washington had been the best choice to command the Continental Army, and again Adams had played a key part. Had his contributions as a member of Congress been only that of casting the two Virginians in their respective, fateful roles, his service to the American cause would have been very great."

"(p. 129) So, it was done, the break was made, in words at least: on July 2, 1776, in Philadelphia, the American colonies declared independence. If not all thirteen clocks had struck as one, twelve had, and with the other silent, the effect was the same.

It was John Adams, more than anyone, who had made it happen. Further, he seems to have understood more clearly than any what a momentous day it was and in the privacy of two long letters to Abigail, he poured out his feelings as did no one else:

"The second day of July 1776 will be the most memorable epocha in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the Day of Deliverance by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other from this time forward forever more.""

"(p. 130) That the hand of God was involved in the birth of the new nation he had no doubt. "It is the will of heaven that the two countries should be sundered forever." If the people now were to have "unbounded power," and as the people were quite capable of corruption as "the great," and thus high risks were involved, he would submit all his hopes and fears to an overruling providence, "in which unfashionable as the faith may be, I firmly believe.""

(p. 225) As time would prove, he had written one of the great, enduring documents of the American Revolution. The constitution of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts is the oldest functioning written constitution in the world."

"(p. 467) There was a burst of applause when George Washington entered and walked to the dais. More applause followed on the appearance of Thomas Jefferson, who had been inaugurated Vice President upstairs in the Senate earlier that morning, and "like marks of approbation" greeted John Adams, who on his entrance in the wake of the two tall Virginians seemed shorter and more bulky even than usual."

"(p. 556) What was surprising--and would largely be forgotten as time went on--was how well Adams had done. Despite the malicious attacks on him, the furor over the Alien and Sedition Acts, unpopular taxes, betrayals by his own cabinet, the disarray of the Federalists, and the final treachery of Hamilton, he had, in fact, come very close to winning in the electoral count. With a difference of only 250 votes in New York City, Adams would have won an electoral count of 71 to 61. So another of the ironies of 1800 was that Jefferson, the apostle of agrarian America who loathed cities, owed his ultimate political triumph to New York."

"(p. 632) I do not believe that Mr. Jefferson ever hated me. On the contrary, I believe he always like me: but he detested Hamilton and by whole administration. Then he wished to be President of the United States, and I stood in his way. So he did everything that he could to pull me down. But if I should quarral with him for that, I might quarrel with every man I have had anything to do with in life. This is human nature....I forgive all my enemies and hope they may find mercy in Heaven. Mr. Jefferson and I have grown old and retired from public life. So we are upon our ancient terms of goodwill."

"(p. 646) Adams lay peacefully, his mind clear, by all signs. Then late in the afternoon, according to several who were present in the room, he stirred and whispered clearly enough to be understood, "Thomas Jefferson survives."

The Hound of the Baskervilles

Title: The Hound of the Baskervilles

Author: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Pages: 5 discs

Genre: Mystery

Grade: A-

Synopsis: Sherlock Holmes is requested to investigate the legend of the hound of the Baskervilles. Many local folk believe that a large black hound roams the moor searching for victims. Holmes' quest is to determine whether or not the legend is true or if what appears to be supernatural can be explained by reason.

My Review: I was pleasantly surprised by how well I like this book. Honestly, most books from this time period (and earlier) don't hold my interest like this one did. The story was engaging and easy to understand and follow. Without Sherlock's help I'm afraid that neither Watson nor I would have been able to figure the mystery out.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Fablehaven - Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary

Title: Fablehaven - Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary

Author: Brandon Mull

Pages: 528

Genre: Fantasy

Grade: A

Synopsis: Two of the hidden artifacts have been found and the Society of the Evening Star is hot on the track of another. Right off the bat, Kendra is kidnapped and locked away and the Knights of the Dawn are on a frantic search to locate her. The Knights of the Dawn decide that they must attempt to get to the key of another artifact before the Society of the Evening Star does. The only problem with this plan is that they must enter a dragon sanctuary named Wyrmroost that as far as anybody knows no human has entered since Patton.

My Review: Much like the Harry Potter series, with each succeeding book these books seem to be getting better and better. Once I was into this book it was one that I couldn't put down and although I had to be to work early the next morning, I stayed up late to finish because I couldn't go to bed without finishing it. The worst part about reading this book right now is that I've got to wait so long for the next (and probably last) one to come out (which people are assuming will be in February or March 2010).

The Bad Beginning

Title: A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning - Book the First

Author: Lemony Snicket

Pages: 3 discs

Genre: Children's Fiction

Grade: B

Synopsis: The Baudelaire children, Violet, Klaus and Sunny, are orphaned after their parents die in a house fire (that also destroys all of their belongings). They first must go to live with Mr. Poe and his family as he sorts out their situation as the executor of their will. He then sends the children to live with their long lost relative Count Olaf, who the children have never met. The children uncover a plot of Count Olaf's to obtain the Baudelaire fortune - which has been set aside in a trust until Violet turns 18. The children must figure out a way to stop him.

My Review: Oddly enough, I read and reviewed this book not too long ago and didn't really like it. I think that I liked the book a little more this time, but only after I realized that there would be very few good things that happened in the book - which makes it a bit depressing. Regardless, it is a clever little story and was an enjoyable listen.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Historian

Title: The Historian

Author: Elizabeth Kostova

Pages: 656

Genre: Fiction, Thriller

Grade: A

Synopsis: A teenage girl finds an old book hidden in her father's library that is entirely blank save for a woodcut of a dragon on the center pages. The dragon is holding a placard with the word 'DRAKULYA'. She also finds a stack of letters addressed to "My Dear and Unfortunate Successor" and begins trying to find out what hidden secrets her father has from his past. When her father was a student at Oxford, his graduate school mentor mysteriously disappears from his office only minutes after confiding to him that he believes that Dracula is still alive.

My Review: It just so happens that for the last three and a half years I have been claiming this book as my favorite. I don't think that I enjoyed it quite as much as I did the first couple times I read it, but it is still in my top 10. I love the descriptions the author provides of the mosques, museums and cities throughout Europe that the characters visit. From browsing other reviews online, it appears that opinions of this book are quite varied, but like I said, it's one of my favorites. I found it fitting that the 100th book I reviewed on this blog, also happened to be the first.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

The World According to Mister Rogers


Title:
The World According to Mister Rogers - Important Things to Remember

Author: Fred Rogers

Pages: 197

Genre: Quotes, Memoir

Grade: A

Synopsis: This book is made up of short quotes and anecdotes taken from the life of Mister Rogers and his television show. The quotes are grouped into four topics: The courage to be yourself, Understanding love, The challenges of inner discipline and We are all neighbors.

My Review: Not much to say about this one, other than the sayings all give a nice outlook on life and my respect for Mister Rogers has increased since reading it.

From the Book: "(p. 21) Whatever we choose to imagine can be as private as we want it to be. Nobody knows what you're thinking or feeling unless you share it."

"(p. 32) You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are."

"(p. 42) The thing I remember best about successful people I've met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they're doing and it seems to have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they're doing, and they love it in front of others."

"(p. 53) Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now."

"(p. 113) I hope you're proud of yourself for the times you've said "yes," when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful only to someone else."

"(p. 162) Whether we're a preschooler or a young teen, a graduating college senior or a retired person, we human beings all want to know that we're acceptable, that our being alive somehow makes a difference in the lives of others."

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Title: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Author: J. K. Rowling

Pages: 10 discs

Genre: Fantasy

Grade: A-

Synopsis: Harry Potter is about to enter his third year at Hogwarts, if he isn't expelled for using magic on his aunt, that is. As it turns out, everybody is ready to forgive Harry because an escaped prisoner from Azkaban is out there looking for him. Couple that with Harry seeing the grim (the worst death omen) at every turn and he's setting himself for another exciting year.

My Review: Of course I liked this book, but my one complaint was that it took forever to end. It's impressive how everything is always tied together between this book, the earlier books and even the later books. I give major props to Jim Dale, the reader of the audiobooks, because he does an amazing job. It took listening to a couple of books before I really started liking him, but he certainly does a great job.

Flash Fiction Forward: 80 Very Short Stories


Title:
Flash Fiction Forward: 80 Very Short Stories

Authors: Varies

Pages: 240

Genre: Fiction

Grade: B

Synopsis: This book is a collection of flash fiction stores, which are typically the shortest of the short stories. While the definition of flash fiction isn't set in stone, typically the stories are less than 750 words and/or 3 pages in length.

My Review: The variety in this collection is incredible. I enjoyed spending a few minutes reading a story about one topic only to have the next story about something totally different and unrelated, and usually on a topic that I've never read anything about. I found some of the stories to be very good while I didn't like some of the others at all. A few of my favorites were:
  • Sashimi Cashmere by Carolyn Forde
  • Mandela Was Late by Peter Mehlman
  • The Jalapeno Contest by Ray Gonzalez
  • Things You Should Know by A. M. Homes
  • The Voices in My Head by Jack Handey
  • My Date with Neanderthal Woman by David Galef
  • The Handbag by Michael Augustin
Disclaimer: As the book was written by many different authors, there are a few that are more loose with their language than others.

From the Book: "(p. 72, Tiffany, by Stacey Richter) "Look at her," said a pert little dinoflagellate with a perfectly smooth protein coat. "Look at her with her nose up in the air, refusing to divide.""

"(p. 89, The Old Truth in Costa Rica, by Lon Otto - forgive the language...) It was approaching night, the conversation having taken up the better part of a day. Out of the fragile light a fourth perezoso spoke, the olders and wisest of them, who had to descend to the forest floor on business no more than once every two or three weeks, but then required many hours to accomplish what was necessary. He said, "The truth is this. Dropped casually from the safety of our beloved branches, our shit would be merely shit. Hard and shapely as our patient nature makes it, it is still shit. But when we plant it in the ground where the jaguar walks, it becomes precious as jewels.""

"(p. 48, The Jalapeno Contest, by Ray Gonzalez - Typically I only share a paragraph or two (and I only share one paragraph here), but the whole story is contained in a single paragraph.) Freddy and his brother Tesoro have not seen each other in five years, and they sit at the kitchen table in Freddy's house and have a jalapeno contest. A large bowl of big green and orange jalapeno peppers sit between the two brothers. A saltshaker and two small glasses of beer accompany this feast. When Tesoro nods his head, the two men begin to eat the raw jalapenos. The contest is to see which man can eat more peppers. It is a ritual from their father, but the two brothers tried it only once, years ago. Both quit after two peppers and laughed it off. This time, things are different. They are older and have to prove a point. Freddy eats his first one more slowly than Tesoro, who takes two bites to finish his and is now on his second. Neither says anything, though a close study of each man's face would tell you the sudden burst of jalapeno energy does not waste time in changing the eater's perception of reality. Freddy works on his second as Tesoro rips into his fourth. Freddy is already sweating from his head and is surprised to see that Tesoro's fat face has not changed its steady, consuming look. Tesoro's long, black hair is neatly combed, and not one bead of sweat has popped out. He is the first to sip from the beer before hitting his fifth jalapeno. Freddy leans back as the table begins to sway in his damp vision. He coughs, and a sharp pain rips through his chest. Tesoro attempts to laugh at his brother, but Freddy sees it is something else. As Freddy finishes his third jalapeno, Tesoro begins to breathe faster upon swallowing his sixth. The contest momentarily stops as both brothers shift in their seats and the sweat pours down their faces. Freddy clutches his stomach as he reaches for his fourth delight. Tesoro has now taken his seventh, and it is clear to Freddy that his brother is suffering big-time. There is a bright blue bird sitting on Tesoro's head, and Tesoro is struggling to laugh because Freddy has a huge red spider crawling on top of his head. Freddy wipes the sweat from his eyes and finishes his fourth pepper. Tesoro sips more beer, sprinkles salt on the tip of his jalapeno, and bites it down to the stem. Freddy, who has not touched his beer, stares in amazement as two Tesoros sit in front of him. They both rise hastily, their beer guts pushing the table against Freddy, who leans back as the two Tesoros waver in the kitchen light. Freddy hears a tremendous fart erupt from his brother, who sits down again. Freddy holds his fifth jalapeno and can't breathe. Tesoro's face is purple, but the blue bird has been replaced by a burning flame of light that weaves over Tesoro's shiny head. Freddy is convinced that he is having a heart attack as he watches his brother fight for breath. Freddy bites into his fifth as Tesoro flips his eighth jalapeno into his mouth, stem and all. This is it. Freddy goes into convulsions and drops to the floor as he tries to reach for his glass of beer. He shakes on the dirty floor as the huge animal that is Tesoro pitches forward and throws up millions of jalapeno seeds all over the table. The last thing Freddy sees before he passes out is his brother's body levitating above the table as an angel, dressed in green jalapeno robes, floats into the room, extends a hand to Tesoro, and floats away with him. When Freddy wakes up minutes later, he gets up and makes it to the bathroom before his body lets go through his pants. As he reaches the bathroom door, he turns and gazes upon the jalapeno plants growing healthy and large on the kitchen table, thick peppers hanging under their leaves, their branches immersed in the largest pile of jalapeno seeds Freddy has ever seen."